Duck Duck Cougar?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
