Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
