you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
