Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
