FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
