we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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