why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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