Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
did you just send me my own nude
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
