He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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