somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
