What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
