I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
