i don't like sucking hair
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
