Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Terrible idea I love it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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