Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
