I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
