I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
