Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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