yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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