Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
