Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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