So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
