rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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