she smelled like a LAN party
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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