This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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