i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
