thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
