Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize