Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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