Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
