WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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