this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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