I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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