so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
