I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
