Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
