would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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