Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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