No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
