i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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