i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She announced her abortion via fbk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
