I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
