I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
