Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
only you would photoshop your dick
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
