i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
