i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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