I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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