i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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