i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
