I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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