She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
